", To make sure that you understand his question, you might try responding to your child's question with another question. Don't talk, listen. If you think your child is ready for the info inside, thengive it to them and tell them to talk to you about any questions they have. The car is also a great place to talk, since having to keep your eyes on the road allows you to avoid eye contact, which may help you stay more relaxed. In many grade-schoolers it surfaces only briefly, now and then – just one of many other things they're curious about. What's for dinner?". but because of this is getting into trouble at school for not reading three tunes a week. This doesn’t mean you need to dump the whole sex- talk truck-load on an eight year old, but at least consider the Hansel and Gretel approach of steadily feeding them a few crumbs over time. If you avoid these talks, your child won't learn your values about sex, but will develop her own from what she gleans from friends and the media. He's constantly forming pictures in his mind of what reality is – and they're not always accurate. We are supposed to be providing more information at this point because they are past that six/seven year transformation. You may be there, too. ", Other questions about pregnancy and delivery include, "Does it hurt to have the baby? I first experienced a death in the family when I was nine years old. They're busy trying to make and keep friends and develop their social and physical skills on the playground and ball field. This is, of course, the single the most important part of helping kids open up. If your toddler grandchild is uninterested in talking, don't push it. You may want to use our interactive anti-bullying video so they can understand what options they may have. There is a big difference between what a 5-year-old and an 8-year-old needs to know – as they get older, you need to give them more details and repeat yourself a lot more! But most of the time, “it’s probably going to come up in bits and pieces. 2. DO NOT go anywhere with a stranger (even if they have a stuffed animal or promise you candy). I agree my twins are constantly asking me questions and I try to give them a simple one sentence answer. This has been compounded by being in a tier that means we can't mix households so no play dates - we've only had half a term to meet classmates so haven't got to know anyone well enough to take their kids to the park etc. How do gay people have babies?". Follow. On the other hand, a mature 8-year-old, particularly one who has an older sibling, may be ready for more information. Talking to Children About Adoption: 8-9 Years Old. By Trevor Romain. If they want, a man and woman can have sex to start a baby. Pingback: Yelling in Parenting « The Parenting Passageway, Pingback: Back to Basics: How To “Do” Gentle Discipline « The Parenting Passageway, Pingback: The Fourth Night of Christmas: Protecting The Innocence And Opening The Door « The Parenting Passageway, Pingback: Other Questions Parents Have About The Six/Seven Year Change « The Parenting Passageway. get his father to talk to him too but, don't expect too much because most men would rather ignore the situation. And if your 8-year-old has some 10-year-old buddies, he may be asking you questions you didn't think you'd have to handle so soon. They want both cake and ice cream at the same time. ( Log Out /  Depending on your child's reaction, you can ask, "Did that upset you? Talk about wet dreams before they start happening, around age 12-16. The best strategy is to try to answer questions calmly and succinctly, however unusual or embarrassing it seems. Tell her you’d like to discuss this with her and that you are asking out of concern, not out of being angry. Make time to hear about the day's activities; be sure your child knows you're actively interested and listening carefully. Avoid materialistic rewards or use them when introducing a new rule or concept to assist your son to stay on track. Second, your concern for your partner's 8 year old daughter is admirable, and I'm honored that you're asking for my help in nurturing her through this transition. Here are a few suggestions to aid communication: 1. ", Your child may or may not be satisfied with that answer. Is it essential information for them right this minute? It will help the child live a stable, productive and happy life. “They’re always talking to you, whether it’s with words, shrugs or tears—or looking away when they see you. Sex is also one of the ways two grown-ups can show that they love each other very much, by touching each other's body during private time together." "The child is picking up the melody line, not the words. But as a kid becomes more independent and starts pushing boundaries looking for their own place in the world, parents may get lost and not know how to communicate with their suddenly-grownup children. My 8 year old is quite incapable of lots of things I think an 8 year old should be able to do around the house. Talk up, not down. "What's sex?" ", Your child may also ask, "Is it okay to masturbate? The sperm comes out in semen when a boy's asleep. "Can I make a baby?" It's also a good idea to continue to emphasize to your grade-schooler that his private parts are private. Communicating With Your Child. If talking about sex is hard for you, try rehearsing your answers in advance, either alone or with your spouse or partner. "They might be one of the first signs that you're growing up, or other signs – like getting your period – could come first. Don’t try to have a “big talk.” If your child comes to you and wants to have a long discussion, great. Your willingness to talk honestly with your child is an ongoing gift he'll need as he steers his way through the confusions of childhood, adolescence, and beyond. He's likely to believe the "facts" he hears from his friends, no matter how outrageous they are. You can say, ‘I love you, and I can see from your body language that something has happened and you’re not ready to tell me. In other words, if the child initiates a nursing session, go with it if you can but don’t offer if you don’t have to. ... 19. ... Susan, a grandmother with several years of practice, says she's had success talking to her grandkids about things she did with them, asking about movies or TV shows they both may have seen and about any major events coming up--holidays, birthdays, competitions. Have a cup of tea, milk, and cookies available. Is it dirty to touch myself down there?". Tuck them in with a kiss, pray with them, be available to listen if they want to … A part of that rock, that tree, that root over there, a part of you and a part of me. All pregnancy, parenting, and birth videos >, How to talk to your grade-schooler about how babies are made, How to talk to your grade-schooler about death. At this age, it’s important to discuss how to safely explore digital spaces—even if your child won’t be using the internet unsupervised for a few more years. "Your kid should know you love this kind of conversation. Keep using those moments, as well as scenes of family life in movies or on TV, to talk about relationships and sexuality. Most children under the age of 8 can't, and don't need to, grasp the actual mechanics of sex, and discussions of erections, periods, labor, and other aspects of sexuality may frighten them. Disciplining an 8-Year-Old Boy. If you're sure your grade-schooler understood what she saw, you might try to ease the tension with a little humor by saying, "Well, this isn't exactly how I'd planned to teach you about sex! How does the baby get food when he's inside of you? Every month the mom's ovaries make an egg. A seven or eight year still feels as though they are a part of the world, not separate. My first concern here is that at fourteen, you’re placing yourself in the parental role. Keep it simple. At this age, children usually start going to school and, for the first time in their life, they get to spend a lot of time without their parents, interacting with their peers. She talks and talks and I just reply with "Oh ok" or "thats so cool".. How do I be more fun to talk to? It is not intended to replace the advice of a mental health professional. Why is 'gay' a bad word? I don’t know if my advice was the best, but I believe it opened the door for deeper conversations in the future. When she was 5 or 6, she would ask why she doesn’t have a … Your grade-schooler understands the occasional need for "private time," and he should know that he needs to knock before coming in when your door is closed. Pingback: This Will Keep You Busy: Links By Age « The Parenting Passageway, Pingback: Developmental Fridays: Questions From the Field About the Seven-Year-Old | The Parenting Passageway.